Sign ratings
Happy Monday. It’s time to see how our local placard producers are holding up.
Sign location: Java Monkey, unisex bathroom.
Purpose: Telling people not to be such vain little hair straighteners.
Grade: C
Comments: I’m generally not in favor of signs that might be lying to me.
Sign location: Community Q BBQ
Purpose: Blowing my mind.
Grade: A+++
Comments: Flying squid blimps. Genius.
Sign location: Community Q BBQ
Purpose: Giving me nightmares.
Grade: D
Comments: I’m intrigued, but at the same time I’m scared of what happens if I don’t listen.
Sign location: Community Q BBQ
Purpose: Reminding me that Roller Derby is still a thing.
Grade: B+
Comments: Great art, cool sport, women on roller skates crashing into each other. It’s like a more empowering version of NASCAR.
Sign location: Community Q BBQ
Purpose: WTF is this BS?
Grade: D, as hard as I can type it.
Comments: Seriously, you can’t be out of pork. There’s a pig on the sign. That’s just wrong.
Sign location: Community Q BBQ
Purpose: Announcing victory.
Grade: B+
Comments: The evil menace of cows and pigs is no more. The carnivores finally win one. FYI, there’s “meat” 24-7 at McDonald’s.