Sign location: Parking lot at Thinking Man, Decatur.
Sign purpose: Making me laugh.
Grade: F.
Comments: My cat is infinitely superior to yours in every aspect and would beat up your cat for being weird.

Sign location: Georgia Aquarium
Sign purpose: Notifying me that a wizard will be torturing a dolphin at specified times and that I may watch for a predetermined fee.
Grade: D
Comments: I’m not sure how this wizard came to control this dolphin with his magic lantern, but he has screwed up. Once the dolphin finds true love and breaks the wizard’s spell, that wizard is going to pay. Flipper slap to the crotch, bud. Count on it.

Sign location: Sidewalk, downtown Decatur.
Sign purpose: Notifying me of the availibity of sidewalk furniture.
Grade: D
Comments: Seriously, what the hell is this and why would I want it in my home?

Sign location: Parking lot of Manuel’s Tavern, Atlanta.
Sign purpose: Informing me that Jesus will tow my car.
Grade: A.
Comments: When I saw this, I laughed for about five minutes straight. When I finally stopped, I realized I was already at the junk yard. The Lord moves swiftly.