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(VIDEO) Crime time: Dog saved, chainsaw shoplifted

Decaturish updates

(VIDEO) Crime time: Dog saved, chainsaw shoplifted


I swear I don’t make any of this up. It all comes from Decatur Police and reports are presumed accurate. Names omitted because even though police may catch you walking down the street carrying a stolen chainsaw, it doesn’t automatically mean you did it. I love this country.

Dog rescued

Aug. 22, 2013 – 2:32 p.m.

Decatur Police Officers went to the 200 block of East Ponce de Leon in response to an assault call. A witness told police that a man slapped a woman. The witness saw the man leave and the female went inside the Wells Fargo bank. As officers interviewed the witness and victim, the suspect came back to the scene and was arrested.

While officers were trying to help the victim get home, the suspect told them that he left his vehicle parked at a nearby apartment complex. Investigators went to the car and found her small dog unconscious on the floor board. A vehicle window was open three inches, but it wasn’t enough to protect the dog from the stifling heat. One of the investigators began cooling down and reviving the dog and another officer took the dog to a local animal hospital. The man, a 34-year-old Clarkson resident, was charged with simple battery and animal cruelty.

The dog survived the incident.

Tipsy McStagger

Aug. 16, 2013 – 6:50 p.m.

Decatur Police went to the intersection of West Trinity Place and West Ponce DeLeon after receiving calls that a man was stumbling in and out of traffic while harassing women. When the officers found the suspect, he informed them that he was drunk and should have stayed at home. He also probably should’ve left the bag of weed and bottle of whiskey he was carrying. Police charged the 51-year-old Atlanta resident with public intoxication, possession of marijuana and an open container violation.

Area man hates construction

Aug. 30, 2013 – 3:30 p.m.

Decatur Police went to the 400 block of Second Avenue in reference to “trouble unknown.” The trouble turned out to be a man who told police he was scared of the construction crew working next door. He began screaming at the workers and the officer took the man inside of his home to talk. The man said the workers upset him. The officer spoke to the construction supervisor and he said the man had been walking outside and yelling at the workers all day.

The officer left, only to return minutes later after receiving a report of damage to property. The construction supervisor told the officer that when he left the scene, the man walked outside and began hitting the windshield of a construction worker’s truck with a hammer. By the time the officer arrived, the man had gone back inside. Officers arrested the 56-year-old man without incident. They took him to a local hospital to treat some minor cuts and for a mental health evaluation. Police charged him with 2nd degree criminal damage to property and released him. He was admitted to the hospital, police said.

Ever been on probation  … on weed?!

Sept. 3, 2013 – 7:35 a.m.

Decatur Police went to the probation office on the 500 block of Church Street after receiving a call about drug possession. One of the probation officers told the officer that a probationer showed up with a vitamin bottle containing 19 individually-wrapped bags of marijuana. The 22-year-old DeKalb County man was charged with possession with intent to distribute.

Man with huge nads shoplifts chainsaw

Sept. 5, 2013 – 2:46 p.m.

Seriously? Decatur Police officers went to the 600 block of East College after receiving a shoplifting call. The store owners said two men walked into the store, one with a sander. The other man perused the chainsaw section, found one he liked and walked out of the store with it. The man carrying the sander, which he purchased, said he didn’t know the man who just ran off with that chainsaw. He made a hasty exit, the report says. Police found the suspect – and the chainsaw – at the intersection of Katie Kerr Drive and South Columbia Drive. The employee identified the 53-year-old DeKalb County man and police arrested him. He’s charged with shoplifting.

But seriously, what the hell is this, “Grand Theft Auto: Decatur”? Did he not think he’d look a little strange walking down the street with a freaking chainsaw?

Perhaps he was getting his Ash costume together for Dragoncon 2014.