Atlanta plans to replace middle class diversion with middle class development
Editor’s note: The quotes in this article are not real. They are satirical parodies of public statements. I wish politicians actually talked this way, though.
Mayor Kasim Reed gave a game changer of a speech after the Braves announced their plans to leave Atlanta for Cobb County.
I figured Reed would at least offer lip service to the idea of keeping the Atlanta Braves in Atlanta.
Nope. The AJC reports that Reed wished the Braves well. Then he tried to change the subject to the sexiest of all the subjects: middle class development.
That’s like a parent saying, “Well kids, it sucks that your dad lost his job and we can’t go to Disney World this year. But you know what’s even more fun? A trip to the Public Library.”
Looks like the mayor forgot to let other people in on the details of how the city will rock middle class development so hard it will change the way the middle class develops.
When WABE asked Fulton County Commission Chairman John Eaves what he thought about the plan, Eaves said, “They’re doing what now?”
Gov. Nathan Deal spun the news so hard the wheels nearly popped off, according to the AJC. “Oh, that’s not so bad. They could have left Georgia. It’s so awesome that hypothetical situation didn’t occur.”
So to review: Atlanta is losing a professional baseball team and gaining affordable housing. Because, you know, YOLO.
I’m not sure if I want this story to start making sense. I don’t think the truth will be this entertaining.